also, two players with the same last name on the same line who are both captains? too confusing.
ransom has to fill out med school entrance exams and there are never enough boxes that he’d be able to put birkholtz-oluransi
sometimes he has to be O L U R A N S, J U S T I N
they obviously got married at niagara falls. they send pics to the grouptext and post them all over facebook
but
they forget to mention the marriage part
they’re so excited about all the other stuff they did that they just. forget
there are pictures from the actual wedding on the actual boat that goes under the falls
but they don’t send any of the ceremony just of them being incredibly happy, which is, honestly, not out of the ordinary
they asked the whole team to come up but they never explicitly said Come To Niagara Falls For Our Actual Wedding, just ‘hey you guys should all come up !!’
they wear their rings but after holster got a weird bruise on his hand from the ring when his hand got trapped between his body and the boards in their first practice, they wear them on necklaces
everyone knew they were gonna live together after graduation
the first time the guys realize they’re together, like a couple, never mind married is when they post a pic, kissing, showing off their rings, captioned ‘so grateful we get to be together for the rest of their lives’
the team is like CONGRATS BROS!!!!
the guys all think r&h have just gotten engaged
but no one says the words ‘engaged’ or ‘married’ or ‘wedding’
so ransom and holster are like ‘thanks!!’ and they don’t say ‘it’s our first anniversary’ because they think everyone already knows that
bitty is internally like ‘do they know their rings are on the wrong hand!!! do i tell them????!!!!???’
eventually the guys are like ‘damn this is a long-ass engagement’
whiskey and tango have gotten together gotten married and adopted a child and ransom and holster are still engaged
chowder and farmer have three children and farmer got a master’s, a phd, and the first authorship on the discovery of a new kind of whale and ransom and holster are still engaged
they must be waiting until ransom’s got a solid position in his hospital and holtz is out of the nhl (it’s gotten better with lgbt athletes, what with jack and kent and a couple others, but it’s still not great, and holster’s good but not a wunderkind like jack or kent, so his being publicly gay might be messy)
the guys don’t actually figure out that ransom and holster are married until ten years after the fact
r&h invite everybody out to seattle for their tenth anniversary
everyone goes even though they’re like ‘uh. anniversaries are usually for weddings not engagements. but whatever these are our bros and we support them’
shitty gives them a bunch of tin and tells them to appropriate WASP marriage culture (bc, u know, one is Black, one is Jewish, neither of them are married)
lardo’s like ‘also it’s your ninth?? shitty’s getting tenth reunion emails, our tenth reunion and thus your tenth anniversary won’t be until next summer’
tango’s just like ‘are you guys ever gonna get married??’
ransom and holster are very confused
uh guys??? you know we’re married right?
i mean we’re not as Married TM as jack and bitty or god forbid chowder and farmer but… we are. definitely married
we’ve been married for a decade
we call each other our husbands
everyone: ‘WHAT THE FUCK WHEN DID YOU GET MARRIED????’
‘i mean…. it’s in the title….. it’s our tenth anniversary…. so……. ten years ago’
bitty, shocked and horrified: ‘you didn”T INVITE ME TO YOUR WEDDING????????’
rans: ‘bro we did’
bitty: ‘you most certainly did not!’
holtz: ‘we invited all you guys?’
everyone: ‘lies, we never got invited to any wedding’
‘we invited everyone up to niagara over the summer? nobody came which was kind of a bummer honestly’
lardo, who has been silently rethinking life: ‘but that means you would have been married our entire senior year’
holster: ‘you are not wrong’
ransom: ‘why did you think all the married students housing applications kept being delivered to the haus’
dex: ‘nursey and i were pretty sure it was because of chowder’
chowder: ‘i didn’t get married THAT early’
ransom and holster are forced to resort to pulling out their actual legal marriage certificates
both of them
from two countries
shitty needs to sit down and reevaluate his entire life
bitty is mortified that he never made them a wedding cake or a marriage pie or anything
whiskey walks in late to the discussion because he was changing his and tango’s daughter’s diaper
he silently hands over a card. it just says ‘happy ten years. niagara has never seen a stronger love’
whiskey has been fully aware that ransom and holster were married.
for a decade.
he was actually their legal witness.
because he was the only one who shOWED UP THAT WEEKEND
he wasn’t even on the team
he still doesn’t know how he got added to the grouptext
he just showed up because he thought it was some kind of team bonding thing
his cousin john said he should go, said it would be ‘narratively entertaining’
tl;dr: ransom and holster got married and managed to accidentally not tell anyone on smh for ten entire years
Ok but what if for Halloween Dex wears a bad blond wig and glasses and Nursey wears a white snapback and salmon shorts
OK but the best thing about that is that Ransom and Holster CANNOT figure out who they are in costume as, and it just gets funnier as the night goes on because they keep guessing wrong.
Okay but then as they get more drunk they start hyperbolically acting out scenes from Ransom and Holsters life and they keep getting more and more touchy feely and ridiculous as the night goes on.
Dex: Bro…Share a beer with me bro…
Nursey: Bro…I’m going to fucking cherish that beer with you bro..
Dex: I just..I need you to know that this is such a special fucking moment for me man…
Nursey: Bro…
Holster: Bro…Are they like….a Meme…or something?
Ransom: I don’t know man…Hey share a beer with me bro?
Holster and Ransom like stalking Nursey with a video camera and turning his hilarious mishaps into fake infomercials for imaginary products. They’ve literally never had to follow him for more than ten minutes to get material. And they’ve never truly recovered from missing the laptop in the pond incident. It would have been PURE INFOMERCIAL GOLD.
Nursey is super chill about it. He sends some of the videos to his mom.
A soulmate doesn’t always mean a lover. Sure, that’s how the romances go in the movies – revelations of matching soulmarks, followed by candlelit sex scenes – but real life is more complex than that. Plenty of twin sisters are born with matching marks. Sometimes, a mother gives birth to a baby who’s carrying her identical mark, and that mother and child will grow up each other’s best friend. Artists find their muses, and business executives find their right-hand-men, in their soulmates. It’s platonic just as often as it’s romantic. Torrid romances with soulmates can end – though, of course, lasting friendships usually form in their wake – and happy, successful marriages can be forged and maintained in the absence of matching marks.
Ransom’s parents, realists and pragmatists that they are, have drummed that into his head. “Don’t take it as a sign of destiny,” they tell him. “It’s a biological process, but like most biological processes, we’ve found ways to overcome it.” When Ransom – then young Justin – asks what that means, and aren’t they mated, they join hands and nod and sigh. “It’s like this, honey,” his mom explains. “It’s easiest to remain physically close to your soulmate after you meet. But there are other ways around it, too. Many soulmates manage by just emailing each other a few times a week. They keep their mental synch that way. And even if you don’t – most people are okay.”
“They call those people detached,” Justin says. “Someone says Mrs. North is detached and that’s why she’s such a grump.”
“That’s a myth,” his father says. “The great majority of people can handle being detached, just like we can handle all the other stresses in our lives. You may not be as strong or as smart as you would be with a soulmate, but that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. Some people do have a hard time, but most detached folks are just like you and me. They’re not the people they would have been, but we’ve all got things about us that are less than perfect.”
“It’s stupid,” Justin says. “Why would God make us like that? Why do we need someone else to be the best we can be?”
“A lot of things life deals us are stupid,” his mother says with her characteristic sunny laugh. “The best we can do is to figure out how to deal with them.”
Justin goes on thinking the whole concept is bullshit. He gets into science, medicine and biology, trying to figure out what on earth is the point of soul mating. He never really gets an answer on that front. What he does discover is the detachment studies – the emerging art and science of helping those who, for whatever reason, have met their soulmates but now have to live without them. He decides he wants to go to medical school, create a practice built around helping the detached live their lives as fully and happily as possible.
All the while, the thought of his soulmate never really crosses his mind. If he meets them, he meets them. He’ll go from there.
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