Jack and Bitty do a livestream

actualhockeyrobot:

 I have no explanation for why they would end up doing this, but it’s probably the fact that Bitty’s viewers keep asking questions anyway, so Bitty just decides (after asking Jack) to do a livestream Q&A with his viewers.

  • Jack is nervous because he’s so bad at interviews. he doesn’t want to go into robot mode in front of all of Bitty’s viewers.
  • (there are also a bunch of curious Falcs fans watching this thing but he doesn’t really think about them because they already know how boring he is at interviews)
  • so it’s just these two sitting on Jack’s couch reading questions off of the livestream chat and Bitty’s instagram. Bitty does his cue little intro and Jack is next to him, nervous, and gives a shy little “Hello” and the live chat has decided that that was Adorable
  • “how are we going to read all of these, the chat is going to fast”
  • “we’ll put it on slow mode, baby. and some of them are going to be from my instagram”
  • and once the questions start, they kind of catch him off guard. not in a bad way. he just wasn’t expecting answering them to be this easy
  • (but then again, these questions are about Bittle. he loves talking about Bittle)

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AU where you can find your soulmate by paying a soulmate matching company $50,000. Bitty’s blog is mostly for his fundraiser to pay his matching fee

shitty-check-please-aus:

whoacanada:

porcupine-girl:

shitty-check-please-aus:

oh nooooo. and in this au jack could still probably afford it but he’s so focused on hockey……….

Jack finds out that that’s what Bitty’s saving up for, and even though the idea of Bittle finding his soulmate makes him really sad for some reason (weird, right?), he also very much wants Bittle to be as happy as he deserves to be (which is really, really happy). So for Bitty’s birthday, instead of the oven he pays his soulmate fee….

Jack didn’t have a solid grasp on income inequality when he was young because his family had always had money. The people he was raised around had money. Jack wanted for nothing and assumed for the longest time that his experiences were universal. 

Jack remembers his first billet experience and being momentarily confused as to why he couldn’t have his own room. His teammate at the time had mocked him mercilessly for his ignorance, and that was one of the first times Jack felt genuine shame.

He’d also grown up with stories of his parent’s whirlwind romance and struggling to scrape together enough money to pay a ludicrous Match fee was not part of the tale. It wasn’t part of anyone’s story, really; back when Matching had been run by an NGO service, Bob Zimmermann was a world-renowned athlete and Alicia Carter was a silver screen darling. They had the money but didn’t need it.

In 1985, Bob and Alicia paid a service fee of $75 US dollars and put their names into one database.

Then regulations were slashed and Wall Street realized there was easy money to be made off the back of a system that had been in place for centuries. One database became many, and fees crept higher and higher because it turned out people would pay just about anything for happiness. 

Now, in 2015, Jack Zimmermann is watching Eric Bittle pick quarters out of Founder’s water fountain so he can save toward the $50,000 he needs to find his soulmate.

“Don’t you dare judge me, Jack Zimmermann,” Bittle cautions, leaning in to snag what looks like a golden dollar. “A man has his priorities.”

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THIS IS SO GOOD

If you don’t mind, where in canon did Nursey call out Dex for calling someone a pussy? I’m asking because this is the first I’ve heard of it, that’s even worse than his already dickish behavior.

dameferre:

of course i don’t mind, i think it’s something we should all be aware of, so this would be the event in question, from here:

image

which is a bit of a jumble and some of the text is obscured because ngozi’s a straight up genius at setting up a good panel rife w tension

but! it can be decoded/inferred to read as this (everything in brackets is not actually in the argument but is the logical completion of the phrases)

N: BRO YOU’RE [N]OT EVEN LISTENING TO ME OUT THERE

D, (simultaneously): [THE] LAST ONE WENT IN BECAUSE YOU (unclear)

D: YEAH BECAUSE I’M TRYING TO FOL[LOW] DIRECTIONS

N: (unclear) STOP [CALLING EVERYONE] FUCKING PUSSYS

D: ARE YOU ON THEIR FUCKING TEAM SERIOUSLY!

N: (unclear) ‘CAUSE IT’S MISOG[YNISTIC AND] OFFENSIVE

D: I DON’T KNOW WHERE [YOU LEARNED TO] TALK TRASH [BUT]

N: (unclear) SUCH A FUCKING [H]OMO[PHOBIC PIECE OF] SHIT

so yeah everyone who wants to come into my house and preach me some shit about pure, misunderstood good-guy dex who is the innocent victim of unfounded assumptions and has never internalised any toxic shit while nursey is irrational and invasive or whatever the fuck can honestly choke cause our boy came to samwell a misogynist and that’s the fucking tea

tehfuckign:

i want a chowder twitter. can u imagine??

  • fuckin roasting the other frogs
  • shark facts
    • which sharks??
    • the animals??
    • the team???
    • doesn’t matter there’s always a Daily Shark Fact From Chowder
  • making fun of dex and nursey
  • hype and support tweets for team games!!!!!
    • “GAME ON FRIDAY #LETSGOWELLIES!!!”
    • “THANK YOU FOR THE SUPPORT TONIGHT I DEDICATE THE SHUT-OUT TO THE SWV!!”
    • “BITTY FOR #MVP!!!!”
    • “FUCKING CLUTCH #JACKZIMMERMANN #THATSMYEXCAPTAIN #FalcsvsHabs”
  • monthly updates on what colour his braces are
    • sometimes he takes polls
  • Exposing Bitty
    • see this post here
    • chowder: “bitty gets bedhead????????????”
      • bitty: “chowder honey why are you Exposing me like this i have an Image to maintain for my followers”
    • also so many Food Aesthetic photos that link to his insta
  • livetweets of the Frog Adventures
    • half of which is him making fun of nursey and dex
  • SO MANY SHMOOPY RETWEETS ABOUT LOVE AND PUNCTUATING THEM W “REMINDER I LOVE CAITLIN FARMER OF THE SAMWELL WOMEN’S VOLLEYBALL TEAM -”
  • livetweeting his never-ending Suffering around his 2 besties, dex and nursey
  • documenting Haus Shenanigans
    • bitty has convos transcripted on his twitter
    • but chowder leaks the photos and videos lmao
  • TWEETING ABOUT HIS BOBA DATES WITH LARDO!!!!!!!
  • and did i mention constantly teasing nursey and dex???? bc that’s definitely a thing that happens

like just…..fuckin……..chowder. on twitter.

sharkcastic:

today at work i started to think about the peewee hockey team Jack used to coach before enrolling at Samwell

imagine those kids now, around 17-18 years old seeing their coach becoming a stanley cup champion his first year playing professionally. imagine the lgbt kids watching their champion coach kiss his boyfriend on live national television. imagine the texts jack is getting from them, thanking him for being so brave, for helping pave the way to a better future.