I can’t wait to someday buy the Ultra Deluxe Edition Collected Check Please hardcover that will have all four years’ worth of comics, all the tweets, the blog posts, all the extras, and commentary with behind-the-scenes info. it’ll probably cost $5000 dollars and I’ll have to buy two, one for reading and one to sit, untouched, in my shrine to ngozi
let’s talk about the bitty&ford captain&manager dynamic. i’ll start
so jack and lardo bonded in a special quiet-person low-voice assertive-introvert retreat-within-yourself-to-complete-important-projects maybe-batman way
which means bitty and ford bond in a no-nonsense extrovert-chatterbox repress-feelings-with-frantic-activity kind of way
they talk about a very specific subset of music. like she knows who beyonce is? but the important thing is that they like the same sad music. i’m talking lorde. i’m talking dixie chicks. i’m talking aretha franklin at her ABSOLUTE SLOWEST. is it possible to cry to sunday candy by chance the rapper? ford and bitty do.
they are each other’s structured emotional time people. like, as much as SMH is big boys with big feelings, they have outbursts. ford and bitty like to schedule times to get wine-drunk and sit at the kitchen table and listen to past lives by kesha and sob together
bitty, upon walking into the house: i can bake here
ford, upon walking into the haus: i can keep my sewing machine here
he stress-bakes a pie. she stress-patches all of her jeans. black sabbath, which she introduced him to, plays very loudly from her beats pill.
When You Hear Heavy Metal Keep Out Of The Kitchen (will poindexter to freshmen, 2017)
ford, for all her emotional evenness, is a physical shitshow. think nursey’s clumsiness with chowder’s raw kinetic enthusiasm. when u a theater kid u learn to talk with ur whole body & scoot around on ur knees. this is a nice counterpoint to bitty, who has the smug gracefulness of a guy who can do turns with his leg up by his ear, but the emotional consistency of a ride designed by a bloodthirsty 9-year-old on rollercoaster tycoon
hear me out: ford grew up where football is a big deal AND theater is a big deal. ford is from texas
normally texans and georgians don’t have THAT much in common. but against these assholes from the Tundra……….they are a team
technically lardo was shorter than bitty. but in terms of raw power, he Would Not Dare. so ford is the first person in a million years that bitty can be bigger than. he’s a total dick about it. head as elbow armrest
ford really likes to swing dance. learning basic swing is a universal Performing Arts Kid Thing, & everyone always practices it bc you get to touch boys. during rehearsal breaks you’d just see a couple nerds busting out a fallen angel lift in the corner. bitty knows the basics and can pick moves up fast, so it becomes a thing, especially at kegsters. nobody gets a concussion but there are a few bloody noses
while bitty went into college definitively gay, ford is in the ??? stage of sexuality. they talk about this a lot. she still knows more gay slang than he does and tells him he u-hauled with jack
ford is the only person who can be bluntly mad at bitty. bitty is the only person who can be bluntly mad at ford. it’s not often or for long but it makes everyone else feel like they’re in the twilight zone
as i said, being in theatéré makes you really physically expressive and fearless. and ford is so small, and she is surrounded by Muscle Boys, and what i’m saying here is that scene from brooklyn 99 where jake is like “terry will catch me” and runs and jumps at him and terry’s like “i’m holding coffee!!!” but he catches jake anyway? except terry is bitty.
she borrows his cardigans and he borrows her scarves Thanks
Jack refers people from rival teams who want jam to Bitty whenever possible so probably there were several players watching the cup who saw the kiss and were like
“ZIMMERMANN IS KISSING THE JAM KID”
“OMG ZIMMERMANN MUST HAVE LIKE, CONSTANT ACCESS TO THE JAM.”
People who react badly (CARL) are put on the No Jam List
if you want to make yourself really upset, think about how hard the musical bare especially the song see me would hit eric bittle