asexualdex:

jedlknight:

themostsarcasticwriter:

onethousandroaches:

secretgeniusshittyknight:

samwellhaus:

onethousandroaches:

top check, please comedic moments in no particular order:

•sriracha cupboard
•"JACK LAURENT ZIMMERMANN DO NOT BLASPHEME"
•"pies just…appear" “we’ve only been here five minutes”
•lardo’s boob art
•"e-SPECIALLY secretary of state"
•ugly baby jack
•roach vs attic discourse
•no pie in hazing
•look at him, sitting on that nhl bench like a pro
•jack catching rans/holtz staring at his ass
•fry guy

and of course, my personal favorite

•"MEN.“

feel free to continue this list

• THAT’S SOME SICK FLOW
• The random girl that pukes up a fountain during the first Hockey Shit w/ Rans and Holtzy
• “Bitch-ass naked and shit-faced”
• Bitty’s faces when he imitates that rival hockey player
• Bitty getting rid of all the beer in the fridge and restocking it with butter; lots of it
• The running gag about baby!Jack looking like an old turnip
• Baby!Jack pooping in the Stanley Cup 3x
• The lost and found with pinned up thongs, bras, and a sock filled with jizz

🔸"You were in town, Zimmermann- DWEEB town! “

🔸"We’re late for our south campus pottery studio tour”

🔸 Beer in basement cooler. ❤ ERB “So totally ultra not cool”

🔸"Cock-a-doodle-mother-fucking-doo! Rise and shine and get out my haus!“

🔸"I went expecting it to be weird– it was. ”

🔸"Yeah, but that’s like, the really nice trash can.“

“was that a theme song?”

“And I brought y’all G O O D I E  B A G S”

• regarding the roach vs attic discourse: “ET TU, LARDO?”
• “Bitty likes girls who can bake.” “You guys are idiots.”
• Tango asking Chowder what his favorite team is while standing in a room full of Sharks merch
• “But actually there’s a youth hockey tournament today so we have to get out of here by 7.”

“THE LITERAL ACTUAL FUCK, BITS?”