wlw who flirt platonically with their wlw friends are valid but u gals are so fuckin confusing
me: oh this thing is cute
my wlw friend: not as cute as u babe š
me internally: gay??? i know gay but like, gay-gay?? gay????? iām going to spontaneously combust. will it be for nothing????? is it just, friend gay?? or romance gay?? gay???????????
i love seeing posts americans make about hozier being a powerful cryptid faeire moss prince or whatever you guys are saying these days on tumblr.com when i know heās just smoking weed in dublin and using twitter. my friend went to a christmas party and hozier was there and high and just talked about himself the entire time.
My friend had sex with him in a field at a music festival juuust before take me to church took off. She panicked and assumed heād be all āk, see ya around!ā so she preemptively did that to him and he just went āoh, okay, I was hoping Iād see you againā and she spent that whole year kicking herself.
me: wow I didn’t know it was possible to spitefully bite an oreo
Teresa: it’s a… sbite
me: …..
Teresa: I just saw you go through so many stages of grief I think you added a couple new ones
Emma: If you go in the bathroom, be wary the straightener is on
me: Oh, I Will be wary of that
Kate: Don’t wanna burn yourself
me: No, I don’t want to be straightened
Kate: Oh I wasn’t even going there with that, I was just thinking you would burn yourself because you’re an idiot
every time i watch clueless iām shocked that cher horowitz wasnāt intentionally written as a closeted lesbian struggling with compulsory heterosexuality because thatās literally the only interpretation of that movie that makes any sense to me whatsoever
listenā¦. cher expresses explicit distaste for boys her age on more than one occasion. she compares them to dogs and wonders why her best friend dee even bothers with them.
she claims to beĀ āhighly selectiveā ā¦.name one closeted lesbian who hasnāt used high standards as an excuse for why they donāt seek a boyfriend, iāll wait.
not to mention that sheāsĀ āsaving herself for luke perryā ā¦.me when i would focus my attention on unattainable men because i didnāt like any boys in real life.
letās not forget that cher is disgusted by her friend eltonās advances and the only boy she actively pursues before realizing she wasĀ āin loveā with josh was her gay friend christian. subconsciously pursuing unattainable men much?
initially, cherās ego is hurt by christianās rejection, but she gets over it quickly because she only pursued christian for superficial reasons and not because of any actual feelings of attraction.
so why did cher end up with josh, you might ask? my theory: cher developed feelings for her (*cough* bisexual) friend tai over the course of the film, but failed to recognize them. when tai shows interest in dating josh, cher becomes jealous, and mistakenly assumes itās because sheās in love with josh, but sheās actually in love with tai!
honestly, just watch this movie again and compare the way cher talks about tai to the way she talks about josh. cher showed literally NO romantic interest in josh before she realized she was āin loveā with him, and only started acting like she had feelings for him after she came to that conclusion.
the first time i watched clueless, i remember little 12-year-old me literally saying āWHAT!?ā out loud to my tv screen when cher said she was in love with her fucking stepbrother, of all people. i didnāt know i was a lesbian back then, but i knew a forced hetero romance that made no sense when i saw one!
so ladies, never forget what the endgame for this movie should have been.
Zoe's blog 