also, two players with the same last name on the same line who are both captains? too confusing.
ransom has to fill out med school entrance exams and there are never enough boxes that he’d be able to put birkholtz-oluransi
sometimes he has to be O L U R A N S, J U S T I N
they obviously got married at niagara falls. they send pics to the grouptext and post them all over facebook
but
they forget to mention the marriage part
they’re so excited about all the other stuff they did that they just. forget
there are pictures from the actual wedding on the actual boat that goes under the falls
but they don’t send any of the ceremony just of them being incredibly happy, which is, honestly, not out of the ordinary
they asked the whole team to come up but they never explicitly said Come To Niagara Falls For Our Actual Wedding, just ‘hey you guys should all come up !!’
they wear their rings but after holster got a weird bruise on his hand from the ring when his hand got trapped between his body and the boards in their first practice, they wear them on necklaces
everyone knew they were gonna live together after graduation
the first time the guys realize they’re together, like a couple, never mind married is when they post a pic, kissing, showing off their rings, captioned ‘so grateful we get to be together for the rest of their lives’
the team is like CONGRATS BROS!!!!
the guys all think r&h have just gotten engaged
but no one says the words ‘engaged’ or ‘married’ or ‘wedding’
so ransom and holster are like ‘thanks!!’ and they don’t say ‘it’s our first anniversary’ because they think everyone already knows that
bitty is internally like ‘do they know their rings are on the wrong hand!!! do i tell them????!!!!???’
eventually the guys are like ‘damn this is a long-ass engagement’
whiskey and tango have gotten together gotten married and adopted a child and ransom and holster are still engaged
chowder and farmer have three children and farmer got a master’s, a phd, and the first authorship on the discovery of a new kind of whale and ransom and holster are still engaged
they must be waiting until ransom’s got a solid position in his hospital and holtz is out of the nhl (it’s gotten better with lgbt athletes, what with jack and kent and a couple others, but it’s still not great, and holster’s good but not a wunderkind like jack or kent, so his being publicly gay might be messy)
the guys don’t actually figure out that ransom and holster are married until ten years after the fact
r&h invite everybody out to seattle for their tenth anniversary
everyone goes even though they’re like ‘uh. anniversaries are usually for weddings not engagements. but whatever these are our bros and we support them’
shitty gives them a bunch of tin and tells them to appropriate WASP marriage culture (bc, u know, one is Black, one is Jewish, neither of them are married)
lardo’s like ‘also it’s your ninth?? shitty’s getting tenth reunion emails, our tenth reunion and thus your tenth anniversary won’t be until next summer’
tango’s just like ‘are you guys ever gonna get married??’
ransom and holster are very confused
uh guys??? you know we’re married right?
i mean we’re not as Married TM as jack and bitty or god forbid chowder and farmer but… we are. definitely married
we’ve been married for a decade
we call each other our husbands
everyone: ‘WHAT THE FUCK WHEN DID YOU GET MARRIED????’
‘i mean…. it’s in the title….. it’s our tenth anniversary…. so……. ten years ago’
bitty, shocked and horrified: ‘you didn”T INVITE ME TO YOUR WEDDING????????’
rans: ‘bro we did’
bitty: ‘you most certainly did not!’
holtz: ‘we invited all you guys?’
everyone: ‘lies, we never got invited to any wedding’
‘we invited everyone up to niagara over the summer? nobody came which was kind of a bummer honestly’
lardo, who has been silently rethinking life: ‘but that means you would have been married our entire senior year’
holster: ‘you are not wrong’
ransom: ‘why did you think all the married students housing applications kept being delivered to the haus’
dex: ‘nursey and i were pretty sure it was because of chowder’
chowder: ‘i didn’t get married THAT early’
ransom and holster are forced to resort to pulling out their actual legal marriage certificates
both of them
from two countries
shitty needs to sit down and reevaluate his entire life
bitty is mortified that he never made them a wedding cake or a marriage pie or anything
whiskey walks in late to the discussion because he was changing his and tango’s daughter’s diaper
he silently hands over a card. it just says ‘happy ten years. niagara has never seen a stronger love’
whiskey has been fully aware that ransom and holster were married.
for a decade.
he was actually their legal witness.
because he was the only one who shOWED UP THAT WEEKEND
he wasn’t even on the team
he still doesn’t know how he got added to the grouptext
he just showed up because he thought it was some kind of team bonding thing
his cousin john said he should go, said it would be ‘narratively entertaining’
tl;dr: ransom and holster got married and managed to accidentally not tell anyone on smh for ten entire years
It’s not a matter of “what do I think” is the problem. The problem is, whether I or anyone thinks it exists or not.
Like, for starters, the fact that Steven Moffat, the creator, is a biphobic, homophobic, misogynistic, fatphobic and all-around piece of shit. [link]
Some stellar quotes include, “women are needy”, “women spend all their time hunting for husbands”, “asexuals are boring”, “bisexuals have too much sex to even bother watching his shows”, “gay characters are going through a phase”.
Or, quick google search for the two stars of the show and “problematic”
Bendyback Cucumberpatch: [link], [link], [link]. Particularly ugly quotes include him calling autistic people “Frankenstein’s Monster” and “man infants”; saying that he (a man who inherited his fortune from slave-owners) pities JLM because he has to play Sherlock in Elementary “to feed his children”, misgendering and dead-naming Chelsea Manning, and defending a rapist.
[link]. Highlights include: calling Lucy Liu “a dog”, defending islamophobia, saying the n-word, joking about date rape.
And that is just the people involved in the show! I mean, it should be enough of a reason to say, yeah, this awful show that is giving a lot of money to bigoted people should be cancelled because bigots don’t deserve to make money, right? But the show itself is also a piece of flaming garbage.
BBC Sherlock is Sexist
“The three recurring female characters who were actually important to the plot were all linked by two traits. Firstly, they’re all romantically linked to one of the two male leads, and secondly, the events of this episode transformed each of them from being independent humans to acting like orbiting satellites, helpless to the gravitational pull of Sherlock’s personal storyline.”- [“His Last Vow,” Part 2: Women, eh?]
In many ways the Holmes stories are a perfect fit for Moffat’s skill-set. The puzzle-box plotting, the 24/7 bromance, the fetishisation of “masculine” reason over pesky “feminine” emotion, all suit him right down to the ground.- [Is Sherlock sexist? Steven Moffat’s wanton women]
The patronizing of women litters “An Abominable Bride.” It distracts the viewer from the layered narrative that visits a contemporary Holmes, who is self-administering an overdose of hallucinogenic drugs to facilitate a visit to the snigger-inducing “mind palace” (he might as well call it his man cave), that whisks us back to the Victorian period and the setting of Conan Doyle’s original compendium of tales. – [Sherlock (Still) Has a Woman Problem]
It appeared, at first, that “The Abominable Bride,” with its interest in women and women’s rights, was an attempt on the part of the show runners to address some of these criticisms and to create a progressive, less offensive show. Instead, it turned out to be one of the most sexist episodes ever. – [Psst, “Sherlock,” Your Sexism Is Showing]
The belief that lesbian women will somehow magically be overcome by the sight of a strong man is a popular misconception not just in pop culture, but in real life. Perhaps it’s unsurprising that Moffat, who has a clear idea in his head of himself as a mesmerizing Lothario, should “happen” to write a lesbian who falls in love with a thinly-veiled version of himself. – [WILL THE NEXT SEASON OF “SHERLOCK” BE LESS SEXIST?]
BBC Sherlock is Homophobic
But it wasn’t going to be just one joke. Let’s laugh at gayness became the flavour, not just of the episode, which was rife with “I’m not gay – not that there’s anything wrong with that. But I’m not. Gay. There’s nothing wrong with that, but it’s really important you don’t get the wrong impression. Not that there’s anything wrong with that kind of thing.” – [Sherlock is one long gay joke]
The show’s pretty good but what caught my attention was the homo subtext with John and Sherlock. It really had the opportunity to be progressive here and have the two same-gender leads of an immensely popular and well-received show be more than just friends. (…) You don’t get to throw these things in there and then pretend like they don’t mean anything. You don’t get to tease the queers and the hetero girls who will ship it but then never actually put the queer in your show. – [Sherlock is the grossest example of queerbaiting]
On the most obvious level, Sherlock operates on a primarily heterocentric basis, and has a bad habit of presenting few and problematic queer characters. Out of six ninety-minute episodes over two series, there are a total of four (loose) mentions of queer characters, only two of which are of any serious importance. – [Queer Identities in Sherlock: A Study in Embarrassing Failures]
BBC Sherlock is Racist
However, in a text so concerned with updating the Victorian source material to the contemporary period, there is very little else to the representation of Chineseness; it seems that Sherlock Holmes can use SMS messaging and GPS tracking, but Chinese culture is rendered remarkably narrow via such reductive stereotypes.- [Sherlock and the representation of Chineseness]
Unfortunately Steven Moffat, who definitely has a problem with racism – his “modern” Holmes has faced down the Yellow Peril (“Blind Banker”) and dressed like a scimitar-waving Lawrence of Arabia to rescue Irene Adler in some sinister Middle-Eastern locale (“Scandal in Belgravia”) – focuses on the “exotic travels abroad” hiatus story instead of coming up with another reason for Holmes’ disappearance. So the first thing we see in the mini-sode is a montage that boils down to the Great White Detective benevolently lending his skills to bewildered and grateful brown foreigners. – [It’s official: Elementary has spoiled me for Sherlock BBC’s casual racism.]
Given that Sherlock Holmes – the master detective who possesses the power to bring duplicitous people to their knees just through the power of his insight – then why as a character could he not ‘see through’ the obvious anti-Chinese racism that appeared throughout the script of the 2010 episode of Sherlock entitled ‘The Blind Banker’ (S1E2)? – [Sherlock Could Not See Through the Racism]
This is the crap that Steve Thompson’s script for TBB gave everyone to work with: Soo Lin Yao, a fragile little porcelain Chinese doll; a stupid brute of a Sikh warrior; Japanese geisha nicknacks for sale in a Chinese…not a shop…the script calls it an emporium… The script also tells the production designer to put up images of every non-Western character set that comes to mind (as if Sherlock Holmes wouldn’t know the difference between Greek and Chinese and Hebrew and Arabic and … ancient hieroglyphics!?) – [A Strange Yellow Squiggle: Racism in The Blind Banker]
Suddenly, my heart sinks and I realise it’s all Black Lotus, Tongs (you should see my Terror of the Curling Tongs), drugs and torture. For are we not a cruel race, as the clever programme-makers have noticed? A series of killings and a trail of yellow-themed clues lead our intrepid heroes into the dangers of Soho Chinatown where even the shop assistants are … sinister. – [Sherlock and wily orientals: Blind Banker, Episode 2 review]
You can also check out [this gifset] by @heroscafe, which shows the most important people of color in the first season of BBC Sherlock. For reference, the most important people of color in S1 are:
Ella Thompson, a black therapist who gets around two minutes of screentime and who Sherlock calls an idiot.
Sally Donovan, a black detective who gets something like five minutes of screentime and is constantly demeaned and insulted by Sherlock in her few scenes.
Soo Lin Yao, the Chinese girl described as a “fragile little doll”, who dies.
A couple nameless Chinese villains who end up all dead.
A black guard of the palace who has like five minutes on screen and nearly dies.
I’m not gonna bother showing you screencaps of the show because it’s been years since I blissfully deleted all my pirated episodes of BBC Sherlock from my hard-drive, but if you really don’t yet believe that it’s a pile of flaming shit, I challenge you to go look through the show and screencap the crowd scenes during the show.
You’ll find that, except for the racist episode in China Town and the racist episode in the Middle East, all group shots/crowd shots are compromised nearly entirely of white people, with next to no people of color even in the background.
This is in itself racist, since the official demographics for London show that at least 40% (nearly half!) of the city is inhabited by people of color. [link] The construction of a reality where people of color should exist yet they are magically erased for no reason other than Moffat not wanting to have brown and black faces visible in his scenes is racist.
BBC Sherlock is also ableist and has abuse apologia
Today we understand that both the early-years environment and genetics play a role in the development of psychopathic personality disorder. Sociopathy as a term is defunct – please stop using it, Sherlock, psychiatry has moved on. – [Dear Sherlock, stop calling yourself a sociopath!]
So, Elementary fandom has talked about gaslighting before, and how it is used in abusive relationships. We’ve seen Irene/Moriarty do this to Sherlock in Elementary, and the same pattern appears in the newly-aired Sherlock with Sherlock and John. – [This gifset] by @stardust-rain shows how BBC!Sherlock is an abuser, which is never acknowledged in-show (unlike Elementary!Moriarty, who is explicitly described as an abuser repeatedly).
Other good reads
There are many things wrong with the BBC’s TV show “Sherlock.” People have been blinded by its lead actors and cinematography for too long. Underneath the admittedly stunning scenery and strong start, Sherlock is sexist and homophobic. – [What You Don’t Realize About Sherlock]
A brief glimpse of the new Sherlock trailer may have sent the internet into a frenzy (admittedly, much of it over John Watson’s moustache – WTF, John?) but, in what feels like a very long absence, has the BBC show’s claim to be the ultimate modern day Holmes been usurped by a pretender from overseas? It may seem heresy even to ask – but is Elementary actually better than Sherlock? – [Why ELEMENTARY Is Better Than SHERLOCK]
By the time I decided to finally watch Elementary rather than just make jokes at its expense, the entire first season had aired. Like Sherlock, Elementary season 1 was concerned with establishing the relationship between Holmes and Watson, and the villainy of Moriarty. On both fronts, it was vastly superior. – [Why ‘Elementary’ is better than ‘Sherlock’]
When Elementary premiered on CBS back in 2012, it drew heavy comparisons to BBC’s Sherlock. Sherlock’s rabid fans were not too pleased that there would be another Holmes-based series on television. They bashed the premise for being a rip-off (how you can rip off an interpretation of an iconic character in literature is beyond me) and the casting choices. However after watching three seasons of Elementary, I can firmly say that it is miles better than Sherlock for a couple of reasons. – [WHY ELEMENTARY IS BETTER THAN SHERLOCK]
”I still have you in my phone under ‘don’t call’ even though it’s been years and I just accidentally sent you a rickroll oops” au
“this is so unfair there’s this song getting popular and the singer sounds like you and all these lyrics almost sound like they could be about me but you’re singing about lost love and you weren’t in love with me wait I’m watching the music video and crying and hey that’s definitely you wtf” au
“oh my god i just hit someone with my car and it’s you hey i’m sorry are you okay please don’t sue?” au
“we’re romantic leads in a play and hey what ruined our friendship again OH YEAH THIS INSANE CHEMISTRY this isn’t awkward at all” au
“you’re famous and just got asked if you were ever in love this should be good– WAIT WHAT” au
“so i know we just reunited but mind explaining how your whole life went to hell?” au
“you just liked a three year old photo of me on instagram i didn’t even know you had an account” au
“something came up and now i’m really scared you’ll spill this old secret of mine please don’t do that” au
“i’m a nurse and oh my god what happened why are you here i can’t lose you a second time” au
“did you know when you meet your soulmate ‘x’ happens? the government’s kept it under wraps but i just found out and i think we should try again cause i always assumed it was coincidence but that thing happened when we met” au
“i’m moving and i know this is a long-shot but want my dog?? you’re the only other person it ever liked and i hate you but i love it” au
“i thought you hated me but i just accidentally sent you a booty text and you accepted and i am seriously considering it” au
“so i didn’t know why you dropped contact with me and i just found out and here’s how i totally did not do that” au
“we’re texting for the first time in forever and i told you about some stupid thing i did and sent a sarcastic ‘you must really miss me, huh’ and you just replied ‘yes’ and i think my heart just broke” au
“our best friends are dating you’re still the spawn of satan though” au
“i just found out through social media/mutual friends that you’re gay/bi/pan/etc. do you know how many times i did not make a move” au
“we’ve been chatting online and we get on really well and oh that explains it” au (bonus: i totally told you about my crappy ex oops it you)
imagine if valjean brought home the wrong barricade boy
wasn’t there a production where the marius got too sick to stay on stage during the final battle and JVJ just grabbed Joly
i researched this. it turns out understudy marius was the one who was sick from eating some shitty oysters, so colm just grabbed joly. he made sure to indicate that joly was now marius. he carried joly home and then ANOTHER guy (i think he was some sort of director who had played marius once before?) came on and sang from post-barricade on. the night of 3 marius
the marii
It is a crime that the actual “Night of Three Marii” story isn’t included in this post, so, to rectify this crushing flaw:
The Night of Three Marii
a performance of Les Mis in Dublin that had 3 actors in one night play Marius. by Chip
There have been many times things have not exactly gone according to plan in Les Mis over the years but this was surely one of the more unique incidents featuring as it did three Marii, none of which was even the regular one, and a supporting cast of highly enthusiastic oysters.
It was late February of 1999 and the UK Tour company was settling into the special Dublin engagement with Colm Wilkinson. Colm was not the only performer to join the cast in Dublin, Matt Rawle had come aboard as Marius and had gone on through previews and opening night without a hitch but just two days later he called in sick. Well not to worry, this cast featured a most excellent understudy in the form of Adrian Smith who normally played Feuilly.
Adrian found out he would be going on that Thursday evening after having sampled some of Dublin’s fresh oysters at the opening night party 48 hours earlier on Tuesday night. He probably should have left the party and checked out Molly Malone and gone with her cockles and muscles instead since the oysters seemed to have taken umbrage at his ingesting them. Though they forgot to bring along a red banner they were about to “rise up” shall we term it and launch a little insurrection of their own soon. In short, they were about to give poor Adrian much grief.
Adrian wasn’t the only one to experience the revolt of the oysters – or was that the revolting oysters? Some of the others attending the opening night gala had come down sick following the incubation period for oyster poisoning which is 24 hours and doctors were dispatched to the fallen. Adrian was still not too queasy by early on Thursday though by curtain time he was starting to feel a bit poorly. But the show must go on as someone once said who obviously never ate tainted oysters in their life.
Adrian went on and as he performed the ensemble roles a Marius plays in the first hour he started to feel more and more sick. Things really got worse by the time Paris rolled around and he went on for the first time as Marius in the show. He soon found that departing the stage that evening after scenes featured a detour to the john as he was far more than merely queasy at this point.. I guess the oysters didn’t have their equity cards in order and felt guilty going on stage illegally and were trying their best to “leave the premises.”
Things got bad then things got worse but what to do? Les Mis casts have at least two understudies for each of the major roles so why not get Adrian to bed and send on the second cover? Well the second cover had left the cast right before the Dublin run and his replacement was brand new and had not yet been rehearsed in the role. So Adrian bravely persevered.
But his condition was deteriorating rapidly. After Thenardier and his gang try to rob Valjean’s house, Valjean rushes in and worries aloud that Javert may have discovered him and Cosette (Poppy Tierney) is suppose to use that moment to turn and rush to the garden gate to spend a few precious seconds holding Marius’ hands. But when Poppy reached the gate that night there was no romantic hand holding going on as Marius was finding the john far more attractive to be near than Cosette by that time.
Well maybe Adrian would feel better after resting during intermission or interval as it is termed over there. Adrian didn’t. Adrian felt worse. Adrian soldiered on.
Now when Adrian left the stage earlier in the show for costume changes and what not he could deal with business off stage. However Marius was now at the barricade for the duration and the students of 1832 didn’t exactly have port-a-potties on the premises. What to do? “Little Fall of Rain” was a bit of a problem since Adrian couldn’t get up and tell poor Éponine (Alex Sharpe) to wait while he used a bucket that had been stationed conveniently in the wings for him by this time. When Éponine expired Marius’ reaction was pretty dramatic though not exactly following the traditional blocking. Adrian waved wildly to the students to come over immediately and as they cradled Éponine and before David Bardsley (Enjolras) could comfort Marius singing “she is the first to fall,” this Marius had dashed off into the wings on the dead run! Rob Miller, filling in for Adrian in the role of Feuilly filled in for him here as well singing the lines, “her name was Éponine, her life was cold and dark but she was unafraid,” which makes one wonder just how Feuilly knew Éponine so well … hmmmmm.
Adrian remained off stage after that for a good while. When Enjolras is suppose to say “Marius, rest,” David, doing some very quick thinking, turned to Feuilly instead and said “Find Marius!”
After returning and getting through his part for a bit longer Adrian had to rush off again during Gavroche’s death. He returned afterwards bringing his little bucket in tow as well as Alison Crowther, a swing with the cast, who was assigned the dubious duty of making sure Adrian hit the pail and not the stage floor. So Adrian took care of business in front of 3000 patrons. The cast tried to screen him as much as possible so I don’t know how many audience members spotted Adrian and wondered at Marius’ inordinate fascination for the bottom of a bucket but hopefully not many.
But it had become obvious by this point that Adrian wasn’t getting any better and there would be no way he could sit there and sing “Empty Chairs” without emptying his chair and rushing off the stage in the process. Now the resident director with this company was Shaun Kerrison who had once been a Marius understudy in London. It was clear what must be done and Shaun went off to get into costume.
In the meantime Adrian was nearly a goner and he finally had to crawl off stage during the final battle and Tom Moss, who was playing his usual role of Joly, was quickly drafted and fell down wounded in his stead. Colm called out to him as Marius several times so no one would think Valjean had decided Joly would make a better match for Cosette then dragged Tom down into the sewers with him. Fortunately Tom was no stranger to the sewers being regularly featured as “The Body” that Thenardier (well know Irish character actor John Kavanagh) dragged in night after night. But Colm had dibs on Tom that night so John had to quickly nab himself a spare body for the occasion.
And Tom Moss that night must have entered the Guiness Book of World Records, Les Mis Division, as having performed the role of Marius for the shortest amount of stage time ever and without singing a single word. Surely a feat of such magnitude that his grandchildren will revel in the glory decades from now.
Well Shaun was ready and in costume in time for “Empty Chairs” and did an outstanding job from there through the end of the show thus holding down the anchor lap of the Marii Relay in fine fashion. It was a night he and Tom and especially poor Adrian will never forget. It was the night of the three Marii!
Both Matt and Adrian needed at least one more day to recover so the following night, just to make things more interesting, a fourth Marii popped up. It was the old second cover, Mark McGee, who had already left the cast but who was returning that day to visit his girlfriend who was still with the company. He was drafted for the day to return to the show and though he never had the chance to actually go on as Marius the whole time he had been with the tour he did that one magical night in Dublin with Colm.
And as Les Mis has an Epilogue so does this Les Mis tale. About a month later Matt came down with laryngitis and had to leave at the end of Act 1 one night. Adrian went on in Act 2 as Marius for the first time since he had shared the role with Tom, Shaun and the oysters chorus. At curtain call Colm not only shared his bow with Adrian but gave him a big grin and “thumbs up” as the cast all warmly applauded not only his efforts of that night but of another memorable one not that long ago. The oysters, not getting the star billing they felt they deserved, were a no show that night. Funny, Adrian didn’t seem to miss them at all.
I keep trying to like red wine like a grown-up but like … it’s rotten grapes, guys. You can drink things that don’t taste like rotten grapes. Why
Okay I don’t know when this post is from (I came across it stalking multiple blogs). But in case this might help, here is a brief science/wine lesson.
To start off, some facts:
-White wine is made from sweet pulp inside of the grape (minus the seeds).
-Red wine is made from both the skin and the grape (and the seeds and stems…sometimes? Can’t remember).
-Tannin is the substance found in red wines, coffee, dark chocolate. Tannins are responsible for the bitter taste in those foods.
-Tannins are found in the skin of the grape, as well as the seeds and the stems. Therefore, most red wines will have tannins, versus most whites will not have tannins.
-Red wines vary in level of tannins, depending on variety of grape, climate, and fermentation process. Pinot noir tends to be very low tannin. Shiraz/Syrah, choice of poison for our beloved brunette surgeon, is very heavy on the tannins.
-Some white wines (most commonly Chardonnay) are aged in oak barrels instead of metal containers. Oak barrels have tannins, which seeps into the wine during the fermentation process. That’s why Chardonnays tend to be “drier” aka it has tannins.
-White wines like Sauvingnon Blancs are usually fermented in steel barrels (aka no tannins. Aka usually very fruity and light and sweet).
Your ability to taste tannins is genetic.
There is a genetic marker determining whether your taste cells are sensitive to tannins.
Basically two people can drink the exact same wine and have wildly different reactions because: 1. Person A can’t taste tannins, so they taste the actual wine flavor. 2. Person B can taste tannins, and that tends to overpower ALL the other flavors in the wine. Basically all they taste is tannins and none of the wine.
I am super tannin sensitive, so if I drink a wine like Cabernet Sauvignon (very tannin heavy, aka “very dry”, it tastes like bitter ethanol alcohol to me, whereas my best friend can’t taste tannins so the same wine is maybe a little bitter but they can actually taste the grape and different flavors. To her, a wine like Sauv Blanc is too sweet, tastes like sugar water. But to me it tastes good.
So unless it’s the taste of the alcohol or all wines you hate, chances are you might hate the taste of red wine, especially the heavier red wines, because taste the tannin overpowers everything else. And all you taste is bitter bitter ethanol bitter more ethanol.
More tannin info: -Tannins bind to fat.
-This is why tannin heavy wines are recommended with fatty foods (Shiraz and steak). Whenever you eat food with high fat content, the fat builds up on your tongue. A sip of red wine will bind with the fat on your tongue and clear it away. That’s why the sip of wine between bites of fat heavy foods is considered a palate cleanser.
-By that logic, this is why white wines are recommended with low fat foods, like fish. Salmon is fattier than most fish, which is why Chardonnay (tannin heavy white wine) or Pinot Noir (low tannin red wine) is recommended with salmon.
-People who are sensitive to tannins can drink tannin heavy red wines with fatty food and generally the wine won’t taste gross. The fat on your tongue (from that steak) will bind with the tannin and neutralize the tannin taste. Aka the only time I ever drink Cabernet Sauvignon or Shiraz is with a steak or heavy, creamy pasta. Aka never bc I don’t often eat either.
-The reason dairy helps coffee taste better is because the fat in milk/creams binds with the tannins in coffee and neutralizes the bitter taste. This is why people who can’t taste tannins can generally drink coffee black without milk (sugar is a different story). It’s also why almond milk in coffee is the worst idea (almond milk is already bitter and has no fat).
More wine facts: -90% of the “aromas” of wine are marketing BS
-You know the labels that say like “cherry with a hint of blackberry?” There’s no real way to infuse cherry or blackberry into grape wine without screwing with the fermentation process. It’s all created by the wine marketing industry to sell you win. Sometimes if you smell cherry before you drink the wine, you might taste it in the wine (because majority of flavor comes from smell). Or if you think there is cherry flavor in the wine, your brain can trick your taste buds into tasting it.
-The only true flavors found in real grape wine are grapes (obviously), oak/earthy flavor (the barrels), vanilla (barrels, oak sticks), tannins. (There are a few others but can’t remember. I think maybe cinnamon?).
-People’s perception of wine often affect how good it tastes to them. Social psychology studies show that people will rate the exact same wine differently if they’re told the wines are different in price. (They rated the more expensive wine as tastier).
tl;dr Whether you can taste tannins is genetic. Exact same wines taste different for different people depending on your genetic makeup. If you’re sensitive to tannins, red wines won’t taste like anything other than bitter alcohol. Genetics/tannins are why people generally have preferences for red or whites.
this is extremely informative and i have learned a thing about myself, which is that i CLEARLY inherited the tannin-tasting genes from my teatotaling mother and not from my dad who subsists entirely on espresso and cabernet sauvignon.
-is allergic to chocolate
-is physically incapable of laughter (it comes out as a hiss, like steam escaping a pipe)
-has weird long vampire teeth
-once led a chemical attack on some college students who had bullied his high school chemistry class
-named his bicycle Tom Bombadil
-got hired twice for the same job as himself and his fake identical twin because his boss wouldn’t hire him full time
-is the only member of my family to have shown me open and unconditional support
-is a clean-cut nerd… who used to be a psychedelic Deadhead and follow them around on tour
-enjoys snacking on an exercise formula called “goo”; his favorite flavor is “plain”. Plain goo. He gave me a box of it for Christmas once and it’s as gross as it sounds.
-cannot touch mangos
-teaches meditation seminars at his Buddhist temple
-has begun studying magic
-used to be obsessed with cults, especially Scientology, and would just… spy on their temples
-is so fucking weird
-used to drive a car that he’d covered entirely in plastic lizards, until someone stole it
-is terrified of the flying monkeys from The Wizard of Oz and still has nightmares about them
-is sending me on a roadtrip to the National Radio Quiet Zone for fun and education
-showed up to a family outing downtown this morning, wearing nylon shorts and expensive leather Oxford formal shoes -cried himself to sleep as a child because he desperately wanted a pet alligator -has experimented with god knows how many psychoactive substances…. For Science -is a literal masochist, as discovered this afternoon, when he told me all about how he’s addicted to the “excruciating pain and unexpected pleasure” of physical therapy -has feet so long he has to get shoes custom made for him – they have, in the past, been mistaken for clown shoes -once took his girlfriend on a date to lick the St. Louis Arch, in winter, and later revealed that he only framed it as a date ‘cause he was afraid of going alone in case his tongue got stuck to the metal -told me that he loved how bananas made his whole throat feel tingly, was surprised to find out that bananas are not supposed to have this effect -was disappointed that I did not bring a book on demon conjugation to the family reunion, because he wanted to compare it to his own translation -got banned from going down a slide today because he was dripping wet and had clearly been swimming…. he was just really sweaty from climbing the stairs
-sent me a check but forgot my legal name and put my nickname on it instead (it can’t be deposited and he hasn’t sent another)
this is what he wore to a family outing downtown
He showed up to our Christmas Eve dinner wearing a dress shirt, fancy slacks, and flip flops. All he ate was a bowl of smoked oysters.
AU where Jack’s mom is a terrible baker and finds Bitty’s blog, who explains things very easily, is incredibly charming and doesn’t make her feel like an idiot when she gets things wrong, so she slowly starts gaining confidence and improving a lot.
She becomes a true, 100% fan, when her simple totally on point brownie recipe, kicks the ass of Sharon’s from down the street at the next neighbor party. That horrid woman who was convinced she married Bob for money and tells everybody about it.
As if there was enough money in the world that could make someone put up with Bob’s snoring, that she hasn’t smothered him with a pillow yet is true love.
She finds his other blog, the one where he talks about himself and Alicia loves hearing about Bitty’s life. He does hockey and while she cannot picture this tiny adorable boy slamming himself against guys like her husband and son do, is just another thing that makes her feel a connection.
A chance in a million | enjolras x grantaire | 6305 words
“I’m sorry sir, but your flight has been delayed.”
Enjolras stares at the girl behind the check-in desk, the harried, defeated expression she is wearing, and says, “What?”
She seems to steel herself and then repeats, with a false smile that doesn’t reach her eyes, “Your flight has been delayed. I’m sorry, sir.”
The rest of what she says is lost to white noise, Enjolras staring at her, uncomprehending, as she tells him when his flight is scheduled to come in, lets him know where to go in the airport to wait, where to look for updates, and then also hands him some meal vouchers, which he takes without registering what they are.
He steps away from the desk without really thinking, and walks a few steps away in a daze. He’s so close to home, so close to Paris. He’s been away for just over a year, talking to his friends and family only via skype and email, and he’s jetlagged to hell, having been travelling for 12 hours anyway (is his luggage going to arrive before he does? Is that how it works? He can’t think) and now he’s in an airport and it’s late and night and he’s going to have to wait another day, another stupid day to see everyone, and it shouldn’t bother him because it’s just one more day after hundreds but it does and fuck.
When Jack says, “I’m seeing someone. It’s serious,” Alicia hopes he can’t see that she’s digging her nails into Bob’s arm.
“Oh?” She smiles. “Really?”
Bob says nothing. Alicia glances at him, and finds that he’s blinking at the screen of her laptop, head cocking to the side.
“Yeah,” Jack continues. Alicia watches him wipe his hands on the legs of his jeans.
Oh, my baby, she thinks. Don’t be afraid.
Jack says, “It’s Bitty. Uh– Eric Bittle? You know him–”
Bob lets out a rush of air next to her and it startles Alicia into turning her head fully to watch him rub a hand over his face.
“Papa?”
“Thank god,” Bob mutters. Alicia doesn’t think Jack hears it. “That’s wonderful,” he says to Jack. “Since when?”
“Oh,” Jack half-smiles. “Well. Graduation day.”
Alicia lets up on her grip on Bob’s arm and laughs. “Well, then! You’ve kept quiet.”
“Yeah,” Jack says, quiet. “I didn’t… I thought it might worry you. I don’t know.”
“He’s adorable,” Bob says. Alicia watches embarrassment, but also full agreement on her son’s face. “I knew– Well. I thought maybe.”
“Papa,” Jack rolls his eyes. “Not you too.”
“Who else would you have taken off for the way that you did?” Bob demands. “I’m not blind, Jack, christ. But– What. Me too?”
“We told the Samwell guys,” Jack says. “Right before Thanksgiving. Bitty needed to, he was. It was hard for him.”
Alicia feels herself smiling wider. “My baby,” she says. “Tell us about him.”
And Jack does. Alicia thinks if she makes it through this conversation without bursting into grateful tears, she’ll have earned a medal in self-control. Jack looks like he hasn’t looked in years. Maybe a decade. Alicia is staring at a grown man, but he finally looks like her son again, the little boy he was before hockey got truly serious, before he went away and out of her reach for so long. Jack smiles, he talks. It’s stumbling and a little rusty, but he tells them about his life and barely mentions hockey.
Well.
“You’ve seen him play,” Jack is saying to his father, radiating pride. “He’s fast, he’s intuitive. And he’s made insane improvements, just mind blowing. Shitty and I went to their opener and he– Ah. Sorry.”
Bob and Alicia simultaneously snap out of their shared awe.
Bob says, “Go on.”
“No, it’s… I’m rambling.”
Alicia says, “We love Eric. You know that. I follow him on Twitter, he’s just a delight.”
And his tweets make so much sense now, Alicia thinks but doesn’t say.
“You said it’s serious?” Bob leans forward. “What does that mean?”
Jack takes a deep breath. “I’m not going to hide him. Not forever. Not for long, even.”
Alicia catches her breath and laces her fingers with her husband’s. “Jack, I’m so…”
“We’re so immensely proud,” Bob finishes. “So proud. I don’t have to tell you it won’t be easy.”
“Ha,” Jack looks down and away, shakes his head. “No, you don’t.”
“But you wouldn’t want to come out for just anyone, would you?”
Alicia squeezes Bob’s hand, watches Jack shake his head at his father’s question.
“No,” Jack says. “If I were alone, or if this was casual. It wouldn’t matter. I mean. I wouldn’t be doing this at all if it were casual. I don’t–”
Alicia can’t help herself, she’s melting from the inside out. She nearly says, Jack, you’re in love. She doesn’t. She says, “It’ll be worth it?”
“Yes,” Jack says, smiling and smiling and handsome and whole. “He’s worth it.”
Alicia makes eye contact with Bob, sees the same wonder she feels.
“Okay,” she says. “So I think we should have dinner, don’t you?”
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